Groom Speech Tips
Groom Speech Tips
Now some of you might be thinking, what on Earth would you need tips for? Perhaps you’re going to wing it, or perhaps you really don’t see it as much of big deal. If that’s the case, this possibly isn’t the article for you.
No., I’m talking to those who are dreading it, don’t really know where to start or what to say. Those that know they want to deliver an awesome speech but really aren’t fans of public speaking.
We’re going to ditch the “Picture everyone naked” advice and get to the heart of it.
So you hate public speaking?
Honestly, I’d wager that this comes to one thing and one thing only.. you just don’t do it. Public speaking is one of those things that throughout your life you probably haven’t done that much of it and if you have, you sucked at it! Sorry.. you probably did!
But you didn’t suck at it because of your personality, or because of anything to do with how you are as a person, you probably sucked at it because you’ve just never done it before. It’s actually ok to suck at something the first few times you do it and that’s something that’s often dismissed. Everything you started off doing you probably sucked at… I mean, even walking right… you fell over countless times, but you got back up!
and that’s where as adults, we fall down (pun intended) - We seem to forget that sometimes, we just got to keep getting up, keep going at it. So it’ll come as no surprise that my first piece of advice is…
Practice, Practice, Practice
Yes. It’s going to suck, but guess what, no one’s going to be around to hear it. So pull out your phone, record yourself giving your speech, listen back, how is your pitch, your speed, your pausing, your breathing, the delivery. Make notes, go again… and again.. and again.
Ok, so we kind of got ahead of ourselves here, how are you going to practice when you don’t even have your speech done.
The 4/5 core parts to the “traditional” Grooms speech:
Thank your partners family for welcoming you into it.
Thank the guests
Tell a quick story of how you met and tell your partner how amazing they look.
(Optional - a quick one line roast of your best man / Groomsmen or something light hearted for the room).
Toast the Bridesmaids/Groomsmen
With these 4/5 core points to discuss we can start to build in a structure.
Let’s talk structure…
This is going to help you to define your speech, the start, middle and end and not only keep you on track, but also help you to remember it all. The traditional structure is detailed above and the easiest way to remember it is…
Gratitude
Story
Praise
Optional
Toast
Now let’s get writing…
Bullet points vs line for line.
General advice when delivering speeches, or public speaking of any kind is to try avoid reading line for line from a piece of paper. The reason for this is
1) Your voice gets lost in a piece of paper and isn’t projected across the room
2) Guests have nothing to engage with other than the back of your piece of paper and unfotunetly you lose interest.
That said, I would actively encourage you to write it out line for line. This is because if you just bullet pointed everything, there’s chance that when you come to deliver the speech, you miss something. Usually if you work from bullet points, you ad lib the rest, practicing this over and over, there’s a high chance you change stuff as you go. If you do come up with something ad lib that you like the sound of, make sure you note it down.
Delivery.
When it comes to delivering the speech, there may seem like a lot to cover, but I’m going to break it down into manageable pieces and honestly, it’s not as daunting as it might look.
Here are the top ten (ish) key points to a great delivery:
Inject your personality into it
Be expressive
Know your Audience
Alter your tone
Know your language
Speak clearly
Be engaging
Visualise
Pace yourself
Jokes
Storytell
Inject your personality into it
A speech is a great time to just project who you are and only you know how to do that. Perhaps you're sarcastic, or loud. Maybe you're quiet, perhaps you're organised. Whatever it is, just be yourself. You’re going to connect with your audience a lot better, a lot faster and ultimately you’re going to be a lot calmer in the process.
Be expressive
This ties in with the point above, perhaps you’re not the most expressive person there is (think, movement). But this is a sure fire way to keep the room engaged. Don’t go overboard with the expression however, especially if it’s not part of your own personality.
Know your Audience
Knowing the audience is probably the number one key aspect in delivering a speech that leaves an impact. Think about your material really carefully, especially if you’re planning on being a bit risky, cheeky or sarcastic. Make sure that your audience are aware of this. Chances are, if it’s part of who you are, they will be.
Alter your tone
Nothing can kill the switch faster than a monotone voice. but over the next coming weeks/months pay attention to your tone of voice. In particular when you’re excited, or when others are excited. How does it sound? altering your tone from high to low during a speech is going to keep the audience engaged. That doesn’t mean you have to go from one exterme to the other but through each sentence, it should peak and dip in the right places.
Know your language
This isn’t just limited to the occasional F bomb either. Use language that you would do if you were having a conversation with a friend. There’s no need to try mix things up and use ‘big words’ if you’re not the type of person who normally does. (Like me… note how I say “Big words” rather than sesquipedalian <- Googgled that.)
Speak clearly
You’re talking to the room. Remember that. Speak as if you were talking to the people at the back of the room, but don’t shout. Raise your voice a little more than you would in a normal conversation. If you have the option, consider using a mic, but brace yourself for any tech failures.
Be engaging
Want to keep you audience attention on your every word? Engage directly with them, keep your eye contact on your guests, if you feel really confident, perhaps even pick out specific people you want to thank, look directly at them, introduce them to the room and thank them. Everyone loves to be called out by their name, you’ll make them feel special and it will add a really personal touch to your “Thank you’s”
Visualise
Not everyone’s going to get this one, but that’s ok. Visualise how successful your speech is going to be, really get into it, think of people laughing or crying at the right times, imagine yourself almost taking a bow after an amazing speech, picture yourself being patted on the back at the bar as your guests tell you how amazing it was. The more you make this feel real, the more real it will become.
Pace yourself
Make sure your speech isn’t rushed, you want to make sure every word is heard. It’s ok to breathe between sentences… remember to pause.
Jokes
Avoid personal jokes that only involve a select few guests. It might seem funny for you and the lads, but if you drag this one on you’ll lose everyone else in the room.
Storytell
One of the easiest and best ways you can captivate your audience is through storytelling. Specifically, use a cliff hanger. TV shows are great at this and you’ll typically see it as the end of the show (or ad break). You know, that part where you go “ARGHHHH why did it have to end there?!” - Then you sit waiting for the next episode (Unless you’re binge watching a series, but you still have that same sense of feeling). They’ve hooked you in for the next episode. To incorporate this in your speech, start by telling a story that captivates your audience, one that puts them on the edge of their seats and then stop. Deliver your speech and at the end, only if you want to, finish off the story.
But most of all, have fun with it.
I’ve lost count of the amount of Groom’s that tell me they’re dreading the speech because they're not a great public speaker. I get it. That was me at my own wedding. But once I got about 15 seconds in, I realised that the whole room was on my side. Everyone’s ears were hanging off my every word. It’s not daunting when you look out and see everyone looking back at you smiling.
Bonus ideas for killer speechs
In the above I talked about the key aspects for writing and delivering a speech, but if you want to take it up a notch and make sure it’s one that’s remembered, here’s a few ideas to get those creative juices flowing:
Sing
Use a Projector
Write a Poem
Create a short film
Make it interactive
Interpretive Dance
If you enjoyed reading this or have any tips of your own, let me know below.